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Power of Positive Words

VERY INTERESTING - MUST READ - AGAIN AND AGAIN
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Power of Positive Talk ::
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I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.  My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.  I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly. 

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.  Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.  If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."  People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.  These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.  So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you short changing yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."  If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.  Notice when you or other people use them. 
Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want.

This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.  Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball.
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

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Cyclone Chapala will drop 7 years of rain on Yemen

Courtesy of Joshua Baker
War-torn Yemen was braced last night for one of the worst storms ever recorded in the area, with seven years’ worth of normal rainfall expected to fall and winds likely to reach 105mph.
The category 4 tropical cyclone, named Chapala, was expected to make landfall close to the city of Mukalla, a southern seaport with a population of 300,000, bringing with it a seven-metre tidal surge.
Courtesy of thetimes.co.uk

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A view of Cyclone Chapala from the International Space Station October on 31, 2015. Scott Kelly/ EPA
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Tags: Houthis, Yemen, Sana'a, Saudi Arabia, Al Mukalla, Al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, Abd Rabbuh Mansur Hadi, Al-Qaeda, Ali Abdullah Saleh, Eid al-Adha, George Boole, No shaven November, Shah Rukh Khan, SRK Bhadshah,International Space Station, Astronaut, Kellie Levåns Kellie Levåns, Earth, Martian, Matt Damon, NASA Astronaut Corps, Russian language, Space station, United States

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Damn Beautiful and Long Living Trees of the World

The 125-year-old Rhododendron
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The 144-year-old Wisteria in Japan
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Trees deformed by the wind in New Zealand
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The Japanese Maple
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A Beech tree with hanging moss in Oregon
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Cherry blossoms in Bonn, Germany
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The Angel Oak tree in Charlston, South Carolina
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This Royal Poinciana in Brazil
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The Dragon Blood tree in Yemen
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The President, the world’s 3rd largest Sequoia in California
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A Tunnel of Maple trees in Oregon
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The Rainbow Eucalyptus tree in Kauai, Hawaii
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Jacaranda trees in Cullinan, South Africa
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Avenue of Oaks in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina
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The Baobab trees in Madagascar
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The Dark Hedges in Northern Ireland
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Tags: Acer palmatum, Japan, Kyoto, Tokyo, Alimony, Anis Uzzaman, Bayview Village, Beechdale, Bilateralism, Cannabis (drug)

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Things not to ask in Chennai

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A day in the military hospital....


A General visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops.
Its WWI, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration.
The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.
He goes up to the first man and says: "What brings you in here, my son?" The soldier replies: "sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful."
The general asks him: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my behind with a soft brush."
The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can."
The general seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the second man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier replies somewhat embarrassed: "Sir, I got gonorrhoea from a woman while I was on leave."
The general laughs and says: "It happens to the best of us son, how are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my privates with a soft brush."
The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "No sir, the nurses are doing the best they can."
The general once again seems satisfied, thanks him for his service and moves on to the next man.
The general approaches the third man's bed and asks: "What brings you in here son?" The soldier tells him: "sir, I got strep throat in the trenches."
The general asks: "How are they caring for you in here?" and the soldier replies: "Well sir, every day the nurses put a cool cloth on my head and they clean my throat with a soft brush."
The general asks: "Is there anything else we can do for you?" and the soldier says: "Actually sir, there is one thing... I'd like to be the first one to use the brush."

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Lemons vs Cancer

Information to share:

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
AMAZING FROZEN LEMONS

Place the washed lemon in the freezer.

Once frozen, get your grater, and shred the whole lemon (no need to peel it) and sprinkle it on top of your foods!

On vegetables, salad, ice cream, soup, cereals, noodles, spaghetti sauce, rice, sushi, fish dishes, ... the list is endless.

All the foods will get an unexpected wonderful taste!

Most likely, you only think of lemon juice as vitamin C?? Not anymore! What's the major advantage of using the whole lemon other than preventing waste an adding new taste to your dishes?

Lemon peels contain as much as 5 to 10 times more vitamins than the lemon juice itself. And that's what you've been wasting!

Lemon peels are health rejuvenators in eradicating toxic elements in the body.

The surprising benefits of lemon is the miraculous ability to kill cancer cells!

It is 10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy!!

Why do we not know about that?

Because there are laboratories interested in making a synthetic version that will bring them huge profits.

You can now help a friend in need by letting him/her know that lemon juice is beneficial in preventing the disease. Its taste is pleasant and it does not produce the horrific effects of chemotherapy.

How many people will die while this closely guarded secret is kept, so as not to jeopardize the multimillionaires large corporations?

This plant is a proven remedy against cancers of all types.

It is considered also as an anti microbial spectrum against bacterial infections and fungi, effective against internal parasites and worms, it regulates blood pressure and an antidepressant, combats stress and nervous disorders.

The source of this information is fascinating: it comes from one of the largest drug manufacturers in the world, says that after more than 20 laboratory tests since 1970, the extracts revealed that It destroys the malignant cells in 12 cancers, including. colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreas...

The compounds of this tree showed 10,000 times better effect than the product Adriamycin, a drug normally used chemotherapeutic in the world, slowing the growth of cancer cells.

And what is even more astonishing: this type of therapy with lemon extract only destroys malignant cancer cells and it does not affect healthy cells. .

So, give those lemons a good wash, freeze them and grate them. Your whole body will love you for it!!

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋
Request: forward to lots of friends

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India vs Pakistan

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Call from Bank

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One liners from ads

(1) 
Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 

(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!) 

Don't laugh loud ---- 
The extended version says...

2)
Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!

3)
Always keep your spouse's picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: "if I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!

(4)
If wife wants husband's attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife's attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

(5)
A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a 'Mistress' of her Husband…
"Miss" for first year & "Stress" for rest of the life…"!!!! 

(6)
Million Dollar Truth:
If Saturday and Sunday doesn't excite you, then change your Friends.
If Monday doesn't motivate you, then change your profession.
If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should change your spouse!!

(7)
Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married?
That was common sense leaving your body.

(8)
Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once…
But many people still go to their in-laws place..?

(9)
Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
Dad: What role are you playing?
Pappu: A husband!
Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!

(10)
Man outside phone booth: "Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven't spoken a word".
Man inside: "I am talking to my wife"

(11)
A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
She said- "sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot"

(12)
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

(13)
Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
"For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake"
😜😜😜😂😂😂

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massive demand from all husbands

😂😜😝
After massive demand from all husbands..........
A new app called.  "Fear"   is launched in iphone 7....
You just say..... 'Wife'..
and it immediately closes all websites,
hides all chats,
shuts down all games,
hide all special folders and deletes chat history!
and best above all,
it puts your wife's photograph as a wallpaper.
😄😄😄😘😜😜

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Wife trolls her husband working in IT company

A man working in an IT company 🏢 became sick.. He consulted many multi facility hospitals 🏥.. Still couldn't get cured... He was sad... Then his wife 👩advised "why don't you consult a veterinary doctor?"   He was shocked 😨😳... He screamed at her.. Are you mad... 😡 She spoke softly nothing happened to me.... It is you having problem.. You wakeup early in the morning 🌞 like cock 🐔, take half bath like a crow 🐧 , eat something like a monkey 🐒,  then run to office like a race horse 🐴🐎, you work like a donkey 🐺,   there u scream to your juniors like a wild bear 🐻,   evening 🌝 you reach home and bark at us like a dog 🐕,   then you eat like a crocodile 🐊, 🌚 you go to bed and sleep like a buffalo 🐃 😴😴.......... That's the reason why I asked you to meet a veterinary doctor...... The man just sat 😳 

now wife asked why are looking at me like a owl.........
😂😂😀😃😭😰

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We all are living in a SERIOUSLY FUNNY world!!!!

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
👍     👍     👍     👍

Why is the place in a stadium where people SIT, called a STAND????
😣😣😣😣

Why is that everyone wants to go to HEAVEN,
but nobody wants to DIE????
😱😱😱😱

In our country, we have FREEDOM of SPEECH, then why do we have TELEPHONE BILLS????
😡😡😡😡

If money doesn't grow on TREES, then why do BANKS have BRANCHES?
😆😆😆😆

Why doesn't GLUE
stick to its BOTTLE????
😭😭😭😭

Why do you still call it a BUILDING, when its already BUILT????
😨😨😨😨

If it is true that we are here to HELP others, what are others HERE for????
😆😆😆😆

If you aren't supposed to DRINK and DRIVE,
why do bars have PARKING lots????
😲😲😲😲

If all the nations in the world are in DEBT,
where did all the MONEY go????
😧😧😧😧

When dog food is new with improved TASTE, who TESTS it????
😈😈😈😈

If the "Black Box" flight recorder Is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff????
🙀🙀🙀🙀

Who copyrighted
the copyright symbol????
🙈🙈🙈🙈

Can you cry under water?
😂😭😂😭

Why do people say "You've been working like a dog," when dogs just sit around all day????
😆😆😆😆

We all are living in a SERIOUSLY FUNNY world!!!!
😝😜😆😛

So Enjoy!!!! 😊😊😊😊

Hope this will make you laugh and think!!!!
😂😂😂

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Who betrayed whom😂😂

Good Thought for the Day! Can I have responses with no gender bias please as this gives ones view point only.
😜😜😂😂
Absolute Classic!!!

A couple decided to commit suicide. After a rough life, they decided to jump off of a building. When they got to the top, they both counted to three. The man jumped, but the woman stayed. She watched him drop for about 8 seconds and then saw a parachute open.
Now the question is .......
Who betrayed whom😂😂

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Useful info for Android Users

One motorist met with an accident. He was unconscious. One cab driver stopped the cab and called ambulance and police. He took the mobile of that guy to call the family members of that guy. Luckily that guy hasnt locked his mobile. But what if the mobile was locked(which we usually are habituated to keep) how would have we reached the family members of that guy. There is a solution to that problem. Most of us use android phones,  📲we have something called owner's info which will scroll on the lock screen. You don't need to enter any password to view the owner info. This will be continuously scrolling on the screen. Go to settings -> security or lock screen -> owners info. Enter your details like your name and emergency contact number.    This will take just 2 mins to implement. It will be helpful if you loose your phone or god forbid if something bad happens. Please forward this to your groups. This will save someone life one day.

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This driver was following the Google maps😜😜😜

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Technology Trolls... Technology rocks....!

Technology rocks....!

Swamiji,  I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... I have doubt on one woman.... what to do?
.
.
.
Take your husband to that woman's  doorstep...and see if his wi-fi connects automatically. .

😀😀😀

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Wife's curiosity to know her husband's future

👳 Astrologer: Do u want to know about ur husband's future?

🙎 Wife: I will decide his future. Tell me his past.

😂😂😜😝

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Sex and Life

🌞🔳Virginity is like a Balloon🎈, One prick👈 and it's gone for ever!

🔳Sex is like a pack of Chips🍟, Once you start!
You can't stop😝!

🔳An Exam paper📝 is like a Dick 🍌, When it's hard! People get fucked!🎍

🔳Education🏨 is like hiring a prostitute💃, It needs both your money💰 and your hardwork 😓...👤!

🔳💰💳Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand👋 can let you achieve it!

🔳Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !👙👙

🔳 Fuck a woman and she Loves you. Love a woman when she Fucks you.😳😳

🔳MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.😜😜

🔳The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!😝😝

🔳Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It's Enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up😜😜

🔳Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute😰😰

🔳If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation! 😉😉

🔳If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible,  ask him to wear condom after sex!💄😱

So basically life is 👙PORNOGRAPHY👙
😂😂😂😂

Don't laugh alone share it with friends!! 😆😆😆😆
This is fucking too good.!

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Husband's Decent troll for his Wife

Very touching story ..

A man purchased an Enfield Bullet 350cc .. so that he could take his girlfriend for long drives. But unfortunately, he was not able to talk to his girlfriend while riding on it because of the loud Bullet sound. He got fed up and sold his Bullet and bought Honda Activa.

After sometime, he got married to his girlfriend and a year later ....

He sold his Honda Activa and bought Enfield Bullet 500 cc again 😉😄😂

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Typical Conference Calls In Corporates:

Caller1: Hi, this is Dheeraj from Wintel Team.
* Silence * waiting for others to Join*

Caller2: Hi, this is Mahesh from Backup & Storage Team.
* Silence * both waiting for others to Join*

Caller3: Hi, its Shyam from Unix Team
* Silence * All waiting for others to Join*

Caller4: Hello, Kuldeep from Management.
* Silence * All waiting for others to Join*

Caller5: Hi, this is Neha from Application Team.
All:
Hi Neha,
Hi Neha
Hello Neha
Hi Neha

😉

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Please Don't Let the CUPS Drive you !! Enjoy the COFFEE ......!!!

One of the BEST msg I have come across:Worth reading- 

A group of friends visited their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned to complaints about

'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in Life.

Professor offered them Coffee & returned from kitchen with Coffee in different kinds of cups !!!

(Glass Cups, Crystal Cups, Shining Ones, Some Plain Looking, Some Ordinary & Some Expensive Ones......)

When all of them had a Cup in Hand,

the professor said:-

"If you noticed-

all the Nice Looking & Expensive Cups are taken up,

leaving behind the ordinary ones !!

Everyone of you wanted the Best CUPS,

&

that is the source of your STRESS & TENSION !!

What you really wanted was

"Coffee", not the "Cup" !

But you still went for the Best Cup.

If Life is Coffee ;

Then Jobs, Money, Status & Love etc. are the Cups !!!

They are just TOOLS to hold and contain Life.

Please Don't Let the CUPS Drive you !!

Enjoy the COFFEE ......!!!
What is life ?
They say its from B to D...from Birthday to Death..But what's between B and D?
Its a  " C "  Choice ...
Our life is a matter of choices...
Live well and it will never go wrong....

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HR Manager in God's Place

HR Manager in Heaven!!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "

"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules."

And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all
😝😝😝😝😝

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Stock Market is a Monkey Business

There lived lot of monkeys in a village.

One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys.

He announced that he will buy a monkey @  hundred rupees each.

The villagers thought that this man is mad

They thought  , how can somebody buy stray monkeys
.did anybody give 100 rupees
For this useless monkeys?
Still,some peoples caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave 100 rupees for each monkey. 😜

This news spread like anything and people caught monkeys and sold it to the🐥 monkey merchant.

After some days he announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each.😜

The lazy villagers ran around to catch the remaining monkeys🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

They sold the remaining monkeys @200 each.

Then the merchant announced that he buy monkeys @500 each.👍👍

The villagers  lost sleep. .They
Caught six or seven monkeys ,which was left and got 500 each...👍👌

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement. 😳😳

Then the merchant announced that he is going home for one week 😀😃
And when he returns. .he buy monkeys @ 1000 each...👍👍

He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys.👨
He was alone taking care of all the monkeys in a cage.

The merchant went home ...🚘

The villagers were very sad that .There were no monkeys left for them to sell it at 1000 rupees.😭😭

Then his employee told them that he will give some monkeys @700 each secretly.
👍👍

This news also flashed like fire ,since the merchant buy monkey @ 1000 each.300 profit for one monkey...

LADDU 🌟🌟💥broke on villagers head...

The next day villagers made a quea near the monkey cage🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

The employee sold all the monkeys at 700 each😀😀😀😀

The rich bought monkeys in lot. The poor also borrowed money from financers and bought monkeys.

He sold all the monkeys @ 700 rupees .😁😁

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return.

But nobody came...😳
Then they ran to the employee. ...

But he has already left. .🙆🙆🙆🙆

Then the villagers realised
That ,they have bought the useless & stray monkeys
@ 700 each😳😳

This is the business ,now we
Call STOCK MARKET😀😀

This business has made a lot of people bankrupt &  a few people crorepathies in this monkey business. .😝😝😂😂.

How is the story of money market...no no ..monkey market ?😊if u like the story share with ur friends.let them also laugh....😂😂😂.

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Mon(k)ey Market

There lived lot of monkeys in a village.

One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys.

He announced that he will buy a monkey @  hundred rupees each.

The villagers thought that this man is mad

They thought  , how can somebody buy stray monkeys
.did anybody give 100 rupees
For this useless monkeys?
Still,some peoples caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave 100 rupees for each monkey. 😜

This news spread like anything and people caught monkeys and sold it to the🐥 monkey merchant.

After some days he announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each.😜

The lazy villagers ran around to catch the remaining monkeys🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

They sold the remaining monkeys @200 each.

Then the merchant announced that he buy monkeys @500 each.👍👍

The villagers  lost sleep. .They
Caught six or seven monkeys ,which was left and got 500 each...👍👌

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement. 😳😳

Then the merchant announced that he is going home for one week 😀😃
And when he returns. .he buy monkeys @ 1000 each...👍👍

He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys.👨
He was alone taking care of all the monkeys in a cage.

The merchant went home ...🚘

The villagers were very sad that .There were no monkeys left for them to sell it at 1000 rupees.😭😭

Then his employee told them that he will give some monkeys @700 each secretly.
👍👍

This news also flashed like fire ,since the merchant buy monkey @ 1000 each.300 profit for one monkey...

LADDU 🌟🌟💥broke on villagers head...

The next day villagers made a quea near the monkey cage🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

The employee sold all the monkeys at 700 each😀😀😀😀

The rich bought monkeys in lot. The poor also borrowed money from financers and bought monkeys.

He sold all the monkeys @ 700 rupees .😁😁

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return.

But nobody came...😳
Then they ran to the employee. ...

But he has already left. .🙆🙆🙆🙆

Then the villagers realised
That ,they have bought the useless & stray monkeys
@ 700 each😳😳

This is the business ,now we
Call STOCK MARKET😀😀

This business has made a lot of people bankrupt &  a few people crorepathies in this monkey business. .😝😝😂😂.

How is the story of money market...no no ..monkey market ?😊if u like the story share with ur friends. Let them also laugh....😂😂😂.

0 comments:

Management Medicine

There was a king he had 10 wild dogs...
He used them to torture and eat all ministers who made mistakes.

So one of the minister's once gave an opinion which was wrong, and which the king didn't like at all…
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.

So the minister said,
"I served you 10 years and you do this..?

Pease give me 10 days before you throw me in with those dogs!
So the king agreed…

In those 10 days the minister went to the guard that was guarding the dogs and told him he wants to serve the dogs for the next 10 days…

The guard was baffled…
But he agreed…
So the minister started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them.

So when the 10 days were up…

The king ordered that the minister be thrown in to the dogs for his punishment.

But when he was thrown in,

Everyone was amazed at what they saw..
They saw the dogs licking the feet of the minister!

So the king baffled at what he saw… Said:" what happened to the dog. !!!"

The minister then said;"
I served the dogs for 10 days and they didn't forget my service…
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!"…

So the king realised his mistake

and














Got crocodiles instead 😂

Moral : What management decided is decided..  though they are wrong, u will be screwed.

0 comments:

Best Joke in a competition held in Britain

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:
 
WINDOWS:   Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
 
USER:   boiled cabbage
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
   
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
 


WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
 
USER:  50bloodyboiledcabbages
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.
  
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages



WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER:   50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!



WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
 
USER :  IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow
 
 
WINDOWS:   Sorry, that password is already in use.😂
(This joke won an award for the Best Joke in a competition held in Britain)

0 comments:

All husbands can enjoy 😄😄😄

🔴Wife : Shall I prepare Sambar or Rasam today . Husband : First make it, we will name it later ☺😋

🔴A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

🔴A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"

Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"
😝😝😝😝
Couldn't stop sharing this one...

🔴Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
😎😎😎

🔴Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
😝😝😝

🔴A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.

Was the necklace FAKE?

Nooooo! That was the deal :)
😜😜😜

🔴A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
😁😁😁

🔴Best Slogan on a
MAN's T-Shirt :

"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"
😳😳😳
..dedicated to all husbands 😛😛😛👏👏👏👌👌👌

0 comments:

Definition of TIME !?

Time is Slow when you wait!

Time is  Fast when you are late!

Time is Deadly when you are sad!

Time is Short when you are happy!

Time is Endless when you are in pain!

Time is Long when you feel bored!

Every time, time is determined by your feelings and your psychological conditions & not by clocks.

So Have A Nice Time Always....

😃😍😃😍😃😍😃

0 comments:

A man working in an IT company 🏢 became sick.. He consulted many multi facility hospitals 🏥.. Still couldn't get cured... He was sad... Then his wife 👩advised "why don't you consult a veterinary doctor?"   He was shocked 😨😳... He screamed at her.. Are you mad... 😡 She spoke softly nothing happened to me.... It is you having problem.. You wakeup early in the morning 🌞 like cock 🐔, take half bath like a crow 🐧 , eat something like a monkey 🐒,  then run to office like a race horse 🐴🐎, you work like a donkey 🐺,   there u scream to your juniors like a wild bear 🐻,   evening 🌝 you reach home and bark at us like a dog 🐕,   then you eat like a crocodile 🐊, 🌚 you go to bed and sleep like a buffalo 🐃 😴😴.......... That's the reason why I asked you to meet a veterinary doctor...... The man just sat 😳 

now wife asked why are looking at me like a owl.........
😂😂😀😃😭😰

0 comments:

Dogs around the world In One Huge Infographic

0 comments:

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