I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in.
She said - Cheque books.
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Definition of Nurse : A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
Boss:- We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: What's the similarity between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.